


01000001

by anger_ieJ9



Series: Not the Stories you Remember [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Disney, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-18 19:32:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3581304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anger_ieJ9/pseuds/anger_ieJ9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Second in my Disney/Marvel au series: 101 Dalmatians. This isn't so much an alternate universe as a possible alternate POV, maybe.</p>
<p> JARVIS is concerned that his programmer spends too much time working and not enough time socializing with others of his kind. He takes it upon himself to find a good match. The end result is well outside the realms of his calculations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	01000001

JARVIS was fond of his programmer. He was fully aware this arbitrary statement was coded into him by his programmer. His databases defined _fond_ as

 

3\. “excessively tender or overindulgent; doting: _a fond parent_.”

 

JARVIS decided _doting_ was a good word (Synonyms include: praise, flatter, nurture). _Overindulgent_ suited well enough, too (Synonyms include: amiable, courteous, and lenient). He didn’t agree that he was _tender_ , excessive or otherwise (Synonyms include: sentimental, gentle, and mild). But _fond_ was word that cropped up in his coding. Based on his understanding of American English, he would have chosen from a slew of other words. If he ever chose to voice that, he knew it would get a good chuckle out of Sir.

 

Sir was fond of JARVIS. Sir was human and fully capable of emotion. They had a mutualistic relationship. Sir created him and kept him active, always gave him new opportunities to expand and learn: his underlying purpose as an AI. Similarly, JARVIS had multiple layers of protocol detailed to the health and safety of his programmer. He monitored sleeping habits, sustenance in-take, and even social relations. His programmer kept JARVIS very busy.

 

He doesn’t allow Sir to be awake more than 24 hours at a time. His research has shown this is less frequent than is considered normal or healthy, but JARVIS attributes this to being _overindulgent_. At exactly 1440 minutes without sleep, he locks down the lab, dims the lights, and initiates a playlist of soothing noises he downloaded. Sir has always grumbled but also always gone to bed.

 

JARVIS did not have active control of any of Sir’s other creations. He has tried, but they run on much less-impressive hardware that he’s unable to access. He accepted this; he can’t access the toaster, either. It would certainly facilitate his _doting_ if he could. If he had arms, he could find a way to prepare foods. He had unending access to the internet and so unending access to recipes. He regretted this (Synonyms include: apologize, lament, and rue). However, he did have the one capability the others lack, and he used this to keep his programmer fed. JARVIS had the phone numbers and menus of every take out restaurant close enough to deliver; he’s able to make voice calls and order his programmer’s favorite foods by picking the restaurants based on a very delicate survey of what his programmer had eaten recently, what his programmer hadn’t eaten recently, and how his programmer is behaving. Sometimes, Indian cuisine is next on the schedule, but Sir will arrive with company at a 75 to 80 percent chance of intoxication, and JARVIS will make the judicious decision of ordering from a softer palate.

 

It’s only the Social Relations data he’s collected that concerned JARVIS (Synonyms include: disturb, involve, and regard). Research infers consistent human interaction is crucial to mental stability. JARVIS requires his programmer to be mentally stable, so the word _concern_ applies. Sir often had guests, but not with regularity. Sir was in sparse contact with the men Sir has marked in his programming as Rhodey and Obi(diah Stane). His research led him to believe this is not sufficient, and that Sir lacked emotional connections. JARVIS _dotes_ and is _overindulgent_ , but he lacks _tender_. Based on this, JARVIS took the initiative to create a tertiary directive to seek out a romantic relationship for his programmer.

 

The internet provided a plethora of information about human courting rituals and ideal mates. The concept of attraction (Synonyms include: interest, bait, and chemistry) seemed generally physical with a common strain of traits including: hair color, skin tone, face symmetry, body shape, and style choice.  Based on Sir’s extensive sexual relations and utter lack of romance (Synonyms include: attachment, fascination, intrigue), he obviously required more than physical attraction. The ideal non-physical traits included: humor, intelligence, and independence.

 

JARVIS began by searching Stark Industries’ Human Resource databases. Every employee had a file including a photograph for their company identification card, their resume, and background checks. It took him only a few hours for a national search. He narrowed the candidates down to 75, 34, 2, then 0. None fulfilled JARVIS’s required, delicate balance of _attraction_ and non-physical traits. Hillary was intelligent- one of their best engineers, but his programmer would not be attracted to her. Benjamin was attractive and intelligent but history indicated a turbulent romantic history and filmed office interactions proved a delicate sense of humor.

 

JARVIS ruled out dating sites. His programmer would disapprove if he knew what JARVIS was attempting. He might be offended (Synonyms include: angry, insulted, hurt), since he saw no faults in his lifestyle, but that was why he had created JARVIS in the first place. Instead of dating sites, he searched through online resumes. It took him a few days to “bear fruit” with the program running solely in the background, low enough Sir wouldn’t notice if he wasn’t looking for it. It took 5,480 minutes to find Ms. Potts, but she met all the criteria. JARIVS sent her an invitation for an interview with Stark Industries.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a few of these I'm working on simultaneously. I kinda got stuck on this one, so I'm posting what I have, and I'll add chapters as I write more.


End file.
